Flying High Again

Frank Fiorello; peace, love, and a loaded gun.

A plan that initially showed promise ultimately became a vital escape from the monotonous reality I face daily. The tedium of a broken heart and life, consumed by the relentless struggle to survive each day and night, left me seeking a respite. Despite the pain of loss, I found solace in the pursuit of financial stability and a distraction from the constant ache of losing all I loved.

Good times and bad times are a natural part of life, but I seem to be a peculiar individual who persistently experiences the misery and devastation of a life without you. It's as if I'm emotionally masochistic, deriving pleasure from the pain. What are these bizarre expectations that we burden others with?

Life has been challenging lately, leaving me yearning for the love and affection of a remarkable individual. Unfortunately, foolish pride and inadequate communication have led to a division that appears impossible to bridge. Here I lie, struggling with these thoughts in my own confused mind.

So the rush of cocaine, alcohol and mushrooms was the perfect storm. It shouldn’t have played out this way but from the first line and beer the night took on a life of its own. It was out of my hands, yet in my control. But I threw it away in wild abandon. I was flying high trying to let the daily life of wretchedness fall to the wayside.

An amazing trip from the beginning until the drive home. The laughter, drama, and sexually charged conversation was a symphony of delight. The highs and lows, the fiery political debate that made a female yell, and hate me, rushing out into the yard as she sat in the grass and cried.

As I sat down in the grass to apologize for making her cry she moved away and seemed to not accept my apologies. Oh well fuck it, I only said sorry because I felt bad. Accepting the apology doesn’t matter to me no more. I put it out there, I have no idea who she is or where she comes from.

As I made my way to the pad, after a fifth of Chivas, some Jack, pot, cocaine and mushrooms I question how or why? How is it I’m fortunate enough to make it home, while for a stretch I had the police behind me. Do I have some special abilities? Is it Gods grace? I shouldn’t question it but embrace and be thankful.

I laid listen to the greatest music ever made, that wonderful, orgasmic, sound caressing by ear drums from the 60’’s. What happened to loving one another? We are all in this together and none of us are going to get out alive. Why make it tougher, let’s help each other.

All I know is that having good people in your life is key to happiness. The world is a cruel and it’s hard. Let us try to be strong but not hardened by this society. But to be humble not bitter and get together and create a better world. It all starts within. The only change we can ever hope to accomplish in this world is to change the way we look at it and how we interact with it.