Impaler Fest 2023

Walked in, gear and merch in tow. Trixie’s bar nestled into a sleepy neighborhood in the beautiful city of Hamtramck. Shortly after our arrival many of the performers and vendors began to show up. There was much chatter, networking, and reunion. I was able to meet many fascinating personalities as the air filled with marijuana smoke, mixed with those passionate about their crafts.

Trixie’s is your quintessential dive bar, equipped with low lighting, exquisite architecture, no air circulation, along with an accommodating staff and charged atmosphere. The relics of a long-ago, forgotten time hang on the walls giving you a clear glimpse of the former German owners and patrons.

The stage was set, all hail the Impaler! It was time once again for Impaler Fest! He makes his way around the room, meets and greets performers and guests. In his deliberate, leisurely yet steady way the Impaler makes sure all is well and in order. He takes his place at the bar near the door and holds court. Friends from many miles travel, coming out to kick it with the Impaler and enjoy a drink as well as what on paper looks to be one remarkable lineup of Detroit area punk and hard rocking bands.

Trixie’s has a stunningly unique and captivating patio area that is a vine covered courtyard equipped with bbq, pool tables, swings and an abundance of seating. This lovely section is where all the vendors set up. There were books, graphic novels, artwork and more for the folks to browse and enjoy.

Useless By Design is first up, they were a powerful force of sound by design fronted by a feisty female that belted out the tunes. She felt confined on the smaller stage but even pinned down she gave us an amazing performance as did the band backing her up. It’s a tough spot to be, opening any show has the potential for disappointment. A band either stumbles through or they set the tone. Useless By Design definitely falls in the latter, they not only set the tone, but they set the bar.

I listened from the patio, I came in to watch only partially. The lack of ventilation made the place stifling. I found it hard to breathe inside but as I was talking to someone about the book “Antiheroes” I heard my name being called and for me it was go time. I was on the drum machine for N2 Submission so I made my way to the stage to set up. It was at this point I realized the mother of all fuck-ups, we left the cords for the keyboard back at home. When I say “WE” what I mean is “ME” thank the gods we only live about 10 or 15 minutes from the venue as my lovely assistant and lady was able to hurriedly pick them up.

The twenty minutes we waited on stage for Danielle to get back with the stuff man, well it seemed like an eternity! Danielle was fast, the long hiatus was only a matter of perception. That perception seemed even more drawn out to me since it was on my shoulders to carry. But then like some saving grace she nonchalantly strolled through the door and up to the stage. After a few more minutes of technical difficulty, not my fault we were set to begin.

The N2 Submission set went off without a hitch. The Impaler is a professional on a whole other level, even in the face of things going wrong. He was cool, telling jokes and preparing the crowd for his style of erotic, spoken word delivered with a classy style that is signature Impaler. For a special treat N2 Submission had a guest appearance for a duet, the one and only “Deadly Mistress Donna” joined us on stage for our closing song.

The reunion of Deadly Mistress Donna and The Impaler was one of the highlights of the evening. They had a chemistry and special energy and connection on stage that was easy to hear and see; even if I was looking at the backside of them. I will forever cherish the performance being on stage with legends of the Detroit music scene. Even if all I was doing was pushing buttons and twisting knobs.

As much as I thoroughly adored being on stage, I had to make my way outdoors. I was overheated, the whiskeys were not deep enough and found it difficult to catch my wind in these conditions. The eye squinting brightness of the world beyond the barroom was a small price to pay for the fresh air I was able to take in. As my eyes adjusted, the cock was approaching the pussy and my day was made.

The intermission between bands, I spent on the picturesque patio engaged in conversation and getting to properly meet Deadly Mistress Donna. One can easily see how she could be deadly, but this moment in time she was nothing but charming, intriguing and engaging. Donna was all the Impaler said and more. I was delighted to finally meet her in person.

Next up the always theatrical Death Cat, campy, creative, costumed with cosmic energy! Death Cat is atomic punk with a retro feel as wild and mysterious as a B-movie horror classic that you just can’t get enough of. Counts, Clowns, Spiders and Mad Scientists in a cauldron of highly charged rhythms and rhymes. Always a great time when this Count Cat takes the stage.

Why every time I step into the bright sunlit patio is there a cock and pussy just there for all to see!? Before I get into that, I find myself engrossed in discussion about the meaning and the power of art. Every artist has their own perspective, yet the art of philosophy is a common thread among all other art forms.

Art is truly the essence of what brings us all together in our truest nature. There is no divide when two people vibe together on a song, painting, photo or writing. No divide can ever be when we are taken up by the divine in the perfect strokes of a painting, or the dynamic experience of a certain riff, the impassioned expression of an unmistakable emotional response to a particular lyric. I digress, time for the next.

Next band, Bastion, they seem like some polished players. I know the drummer's stance on what art and music is and means, from my previous meeting on the patio with him. If I were judging the type of band Bastion would be from our discussion, I would say they would be polished, know their stuff and feel what they played. One does not speak about the art form that is music and not relish and take their craft seriously.

I’m a great judge of character, what can I say ? Bastion was every bit the clean musicians I made them out to be from that conversation earlier in the day. They were rugged and robust. They were a truly essential piece to the lineup as a whole that made Impaler Fest such a memorable, exciting and bad ass show at this point in our night's festivities.

The final band to take the stage and cap off Impaler Fest was the infamous, notorious, most evil band ever cast upon this earth!!! Or as some of you may know them, Dangerous Pleasure. The Impaler fronts this band of virtuosos who immediately fall straight into their groove. I know things and if you told me this band only practiced a couple times, I’d laugh at you. These cats sound extremely well rehearsed. From the blasting beats pushing them forward in some musical blitz, to the intricate bass lines rounding out and sounding off the rhythm. Fire and filthy, shredding, leads with the distinctive delivery of dangerously captivating lyrics from the one and only Impaler was how the night of Impaler Fest came to its climactic conclusion.

For those of you wondering about the constant visions I had of a cock and pussy; well you would have had to have been there to know if what I saw was real or just the madness in my head… until next year.