Transparency, I See Right Through You

The question itself was not asked seeking some unknown answer. It was loaded at best, since both parties knew. All to well we both knew I was not invited, and never would be. Life events don’t matter when my ex worked hard daily to force estrangement, so that my fatherhood was stripped away from me like flesh ripping from muscle, in the whippings I took.

No it was asked, to inflict pain upon my mind. The emotional suffering, at the loss of seven children over six years. It was asked to flare up the suppressed flames of anguish contained within, as the fire will never die. It was asked to set up a scenario, judgment, and the execution of a friendship that goes back over two decades.

But I never changed, I never left my children, or my friendships. I was left, standing alone in the torrential downpour of utter despair, anger, and bewilderment.

As I watch the ink dry on pages of my past that has been long gone, I feel less angry, less guilt, less anything. It was them that broke bread and drank spirits with the very people who lied to me and about me. They who sit with my children at functions with those that cheated me, manipulated me, abandoned me; while I just showed them kindness.

I didn’t lose a friend, because friends don’t break bread with your enemies. Your enemies are mine and I am one of the last of the thoroughbreds, my loyalty is deep, sometimes dumb. But I don’t change up on people, but thanks for the memories.